and I have returned

Sorry I havent posted in a couple days. I have been sick and still am but I will be fine I hope. Now back to my story. I left off telling you about when I went into the Air Force with a broken heart from Jason and still with a boyfriend Jamie. I went through Basic Training and didnt get to call home for a little while. It was not the easiest thing but I made it through. I went from Texas to Colorado for my Tech School and loved it there. I came home around Christmas time for my first leave. It was a hard time for me when I came home. I had so much to face and deal with and I was only home for about 10 days. I saw alot of my friends when I came home and of course I saw Jamie and I also got to see Jason. By this time, I had started to drink pretty heavy. We were able to drink at that time at 18. When we were able to go off the base, we would go and drink and almost got a tatoo one time. lol Anyway, I spent alot of my time home with a few people. I wont mention a couple of names but I had a few people upset that other people wanted to spend time with me. One person was alot older than me but there was nothing going on anyway. I will not forget the parties that my brothers and my family had for me while I was home. It was amazing. I saw Jamie almost every day that I was home but only got to see Jason for about have of the days. He didnt know that I was home at first but when he found out, he showed up without me knowing. Boy did he find me pretty drunk. Me and my brother were having a drinking contest, lol. Jason showed up on a snowmobile and it was night time out so not sure what time. I actually got on the snowmobile and went to his house with him. I was so drunk dont remember much of the night. Just laughing alot. By the way, my brother beat me drinking because I had to leave. New Years Eve came around and Jason had asked me to a party. Of course I went. He got stuck in the ditch coming to get me because it was not the greatest weather out but he got me there. I will never forget at midnight it seemed like all my dreams had come true, he kissed me and wouldnt let me go. At least I thought. I was young and saw what I wanted all along was right there. I never did go home that night. Just called my mom to let her know it was nasty outside and I would be home in the morning. Everything was perfect except that I had to leave in 2 days. It was hard the first time leaving but this time was worse. Yes, I had cheated on Jamie and didnt really care. I left and went back to Colorado. I only was there for a short time longer so nothing seemed to matter. While in Tech School I had met this guy and we were together all the time except when we went home. It was hard for me to get my orders but I was off to Louisiana. I couldnt be put in the dorm that I should have been put in so I was put in the SP dorm. Thats were I met my dear friend Velina and I also had met my first husband. Me and Velina became the drinking buddies. Let me tell you it was scary coming home from the bars at night with us plastered. Some nights I couldnt believe we made it home. Within a couple months, I found out I was pregnant. Quite the shocker to say the least. I ended up moving off base with my boyfriend at the time and we got married in July of that year. Come September, 3 am I got woke up by the military police coming to search my house for drugs. Seems that I didnt know him as well as I though and he had done some bad things before I met him and it all caught up to him. Lets just say, I wasnt happy. I didnt leave him but he did get discharged from the service. Patrick came along a little early, he was suppose to be a Christmas baby but I had him on the 13th of December. My husband almost missed it because that was the day he was discharged from the service while I was in the hospital in labor. My parents and sister came to see us at Easter time and it was wonderful. I stayed in for another year and a few months and my dad got sick here in NY so I got out to come back home and be here in case anything happened. It really wasnt too long and my husband couldnt handle living in NY anymore. I will continue more later and let u know what happened after we moved to NY.

In response to Amethysts latest post

When I read your post about the suicide, it reminded me of something that I did not post in my story. Maybe because I hate to remember it. When I was 14, my brothers always played basketball with my cousin next door to us. I remember the day all to well. They played then came home. The next morning, my cousin was found dead out in front of his house under a tree with a gun in his hand. His dad was the one to find him there. He had killed himself. It was over a girl. He had found out that his girlfriend of 2 years was pregnant and she had told him that she was going to have an abortion and he lost it. He left a note and thats how we found out why he did it. He told her that he didnt want that and she did it anyway. He was only around 17. The pain that it all causes is terrible. I feel so bad when I hear about anyone having to deal with it. I know that I personally, not that I like to admit it, but I was pretty close to committing suicide not too long ago. I am very fortunate to have alot of support from friends. Poor Joey listened to me many many nights as did my sister in law. I was even to the point of telling my sister in law that if anything happened to me to make sure that my kids were taken care of because I trust her and my brother that much. I know that alot of people feel that the people that u meet on the internet are just that. I will argue that because I have met some really amazing people that one day I hope to meet.

I need help! POTTY TRAINING ISNT WORKING

OK, SO HERE IS THE ISSUE. MY DAUGHTER IS 2 AND A HALF. I ALMOST HAD HER POTTY TRAINED BEFORE 2 BUT THEN USED PULL UPS AND SHE WANTED DIAPERS BACK. I HAVE TRIED WHAT I FEEL IS EVERYTHING TO GET HER TO USE THE POTTY AND NOTHING HAS WORKED. I NEED SOME SUGGESTIONS. DONT TELL ME TO OFFER HER DONUTS WHICH SHE LOVES IT DIDNT WORK EITHER. LOL HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!

this is a hard one for me for many reasons

I left off telling you that I had joined the Air Force under delayed entry and I had a few other things going on. When I enlisted, I was overweight and was told that I had to lose 20 pounds to even go in. I had almost a year to do that. I had alot of guy friends when I was in school but remember, I also had a boyfriend in another school. I had 2 very good friends that were guys and they were Geoff and Jason. Me and Geoff were like brother and sister pretty much but Jason was another story. I had real strong feelings for him even though I had a boyfriend. He was there for me through everything and I actually believe he was my first love. The problem with that was this. I didnt have a boyfriend when we first became friends but he didnt want a girlfriend. He went away every summer for work and didnt want to leave one behind. He said it wasnt fair to do that to someone. To me, it broke my heart but I did understand that. He wasnt happy when he found out I had a boyfriend and he made it very known. He had to understand my point on it all. He didnt want me so I was going to find someone that did. He usually would somehow show up where I was all the time. Never knew how that happened but it did. He got into a few fights with my boyfriend just because. We ended up getting into a big arguement about it and didnt talk for a short time. I was with my boyfriend for over 2 years except the 1 week when we broke up and it was hell. Jason never really dated anyone in high school and I never understood why until later. When he found out that I had enlisted in the military, it was like I stabbed him. He changed alot. I started having a problem with eating. Yes I ended up with a eating disorder. When they told me I was overweight, it broke my heart. I would eat just fine but then I would make myself sick. In a short 3 months, I had lost 45 pounds and my sister in law caught me. She told my mom and that was it. It was either I stopped myself or the doctors would. Who else to call but Jason and thats what she did. I didnt want him or my boyfriend to know but she let Jason know. It was very strange talking to him about it. It was like he was my shadow after that even though I was still with Jamie, my boyfriend. I remember going to parties with Jason and running into Jamies friends and he would just tell them that they didnt see us there together and if they tell they would get what Jamie got. It was strange. There was not anything at all going on between us but people believed there was. And now the hardest part about this all. The night before I left to go into the military, I had said my goodbyes to Jamie who I was still dating and then Jason came and picked me up. I did not know that there was a going away party for me. The hardest part was when he brought me home. He decided to tell me that he didnt want me to leave. He said it was breaking his heart that I was going to be gone the next day. FINE TIME TO TELL. I cried all night. The next day, off I was to the MEPS center to leave. My friend Beckie wanted to go so bad but my grandmother told her that she couldnt ride out with us. To this day, she dislikes my grandmother for that. Back to Jason, the first time I got to call home while I was in basic training, my brother informed me that Jason was very upset and told him that If I had not gone, they would probably have become brother in laws. Here is a man that I fell in love with and could not have by his choice telling my family he was in love with me. He just waited to long. I am going to end there for now. I am going to let you know what happened when I did come home for the first time. It was not a pretty sight now that I think about it. And I will also let you know what happens with Jamie.

back to my story

When I left off on my story, I had told you about my 2 best friends. All through my teens I kept these 2 friends Beckie and Maria. I lost contact with Maria for awhile when she had moved and we just stopped hanging out . Me and Beckie, lets just say we were like 2 peas in a pod. I had started working on a farm down the road from our house and she would come and visit me while I was there. We didnt stay as close as we were but we were still together often. I worked on the farm from the time I was 13 until I was 15 and then got a job at a pizza shop that we always went to. My mom didnt mind taking me there as long as I gave her gas money when I got paid. I loved working there and met alot of new people. I met my first real boyfriend while I was working there. He was a little younger than me but he became my everything. At that time, what is everything. He went to a different school so that did cause a few issues. My family and friends, none of them liked him at all. And I think that noone liking him made me like him more. My parents wouldnt let me see him much so my boss would cover for me so that I could go and see him while I was working or after I was done. If my mom would call, he would call me and tell me she was on her way and I would get back there before she got there. We had a few bumps in the road with me hearing that he was sleeping with one of my friends and we did break up when I was 17 for a short time. I ended up in a bad situation for myself when that happened. When I was 16 I ended up meeting a guy that had a nice car and was hot in my eyes. I told my parents that we were around the same age so they let me go with him. He decided that he was going to go to the liquor store and then take me to a hotel. Needless to say, I left and he had to pick me up and take me home because I wanted no part of that. After me and the guy that I was dating before broke up I also met a guy who showed me somethings that I never had seen before. He invited me to go to a party with him so I went. I didnt know that it was a drug and keg party. Believe it or not, before that, I had never seen any kind of drug. When my exboyfriend heard about me going somewhere with this guy, he called me for a week. He forgot that I had my senior trip and was in Florida. My mom told me that he called day after day waiting for me to come home. Boy when I got home my mom flipped out on me. Seems that this guy that took me to the party had hickies all over him and my mom thought I did it. WELL it wasnt me. Within 2 weeks the guy was arrested for hiding a runaway and he stabbed a guy in a bar. Me and my ex ended up getting back together and that did not make anyone in my family happy at all. Him and his dad took me to Hershey Park for my graduation and when I got home, all my stuff was packed and put on the porch. My mom was mad because I left the state with him and told me I had to leave. It didnt last long though. My brother put all my stuff in his car and took me somewhere to stay. If they wouldnt let me stay there, he was going to get me an apartment. My mom followed and begged me to come home. During all of this, I had enlisted in the USAF delayed entry so we already knew I was going. And then there was Jason. He is a very touchy subject for me. And I also started having a eating problem I will tell you all about them soon.

the kids of then and now you compare

Explain to me how kids today can say they are bored. When we were younger, I dont remember having even close to what my kids have and I dont remember being bored all the time. I decided to do a little comparing just for the fun of it. Im going to tell you what they have, then I will tell you what I had I think this will be fun.
WHAT THEY HAVE WHAT I HAD

DIGITAL CABLE NOW THATS MAKE SURE THE ANTENNA IS IN
ALOT OF CHANNELS, CANT TELL U THE RIGHT SPOT U MIGHT HAVE
HOW MANY GOT 4 CHANNELS IF U WERE LUCKY

VIDEO GAMES, GAME SYSTEMS I HAVE TO SAY THAT WE GOT OUR
PLAYSTATIONS 1 2 AND 3, GAMEBOYS, ETC FIRST VIDEO GAME SYSTEM 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR FIRE

INTERNET/COMPUTER DID WE EVEN HAVE THEM

SWIMMING POOL NICE POND WAY BACK IN THE
WOODS OR THE SWIMMING HOLES

HOT TUB NICE HOT BATH IF YOUR LUCKY

AMUSEMENT PARKS YEAH RIGHT, I REMEMBER
CLIMBING ON TOP OF THE
GARAGE AND JUMPING INTO
BOXES OF CLOTHES

SNOW DAYS FROM SCHOOL WE COULDNT GET OUT THE
THEY GET THEM FOR NO REASON THE DOOR THE SNOW WAS
SOMETIMES AND HALF DAYS TOO DEEP, WE SHOULD CANCEL
SCHOOL, I DONT THINK WE HAD
HALF DAYS U JUST WENT

FAST FOOD MCDONALDS, BURGERKING ETC GRAB A SANDWICH WE DIDNT
HAVE THEM I DONT THINK

I WILL SAY THAT EVERYONE PROBABLY HAS ALOT MORE, TELL ME SOME THAT COME TO YOUR MIND. I CAN TELL YOU THAT I DID HAVE A 3 WHEELER WHEN I WAS A KID AND MY KIDS DONT HAVE THAT. BUT WE ALSO LIVE IN THE CITY NOW AND WHEN I GREW UP I WAS IN THE COUNTRY, THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO GET ANYWHERE SOMETIMES. ANOTHER THING THAT I DIDNT ADD TO THE LIST BUT WILL PUT HERE IS SCHOOL. MY KIDS GO TO A SCHOOL WITH I CANT EVEN TELL YOU HOW MANY KIDS IN IT. THE GRADUATING CLASSES ARE IN THE HUNDREDS. I WENT TO A SCHOOL THAT WAS UNDER 1000 STUDENTS AND IT WAS K-12 MY GRADUATING CLASS WAS AROUND 46. HOPE U ENJOYED THIS AND REMEMBER IF U COME UP WITH SOME, LET ME KNOW.

sorry I have not posted

I am really sorry I havent had time to post a new blog. My brother in law and his 2 youngest kids were in an accident yesterday and everyone is ok but I got worried. My mom went in for surgery today and my dad just called to let me know that she is out. I feel real bad that I didnt go up there with them. I really should have and I just hope my dad didnt sit there by himself. I have always been the one to be with him when my mom has been sick. He said that she made it through the surgery but dont know how she is doing. Im sure good. Thanks everyone for praying for her surgery to go alright. I also was busy with my future daughter in law yesterday making sure we have her graduation party all planned. Yay, only a couple more weeks and she graduates. I will be back on later to continue with my other story. Have to take chuckie to get his glasses fixed AGAIN!!!!! and have to get groceries.